The
cases are good for cocktail
parties and illustrate
that our system is out
of control. As you can
see, anybody can sue
anybody for nearly any
reason. Lawyers are not
policing themselves and,
someday, this will backfire.
But, enough of that,
here are the cases:
A
Canadian man sues a
New York coffee shop
after suffering what
he calls “damage to
his manhood”. His penis
somehow got pinched
between the toilet
seat and bowl while
he was reaching forward
for toilet paper. He
is asking for $1 million
to compensate for his "dire and permanent" injuries. His wife is also suing for $500,000, claiming her husband cannot perform
his marital duties.
An
inmate in Tennessee,
Gary Bradford Cone,
sued the state because
they have taken away
his "right" to possess pornography (A new state law does not allow it.) Cone is currently
on Death Row.
Another
Death Row inmate sued
the author of a book
that described the
murders he had committed.
The convicted killer
asked for $60 million
in damages, claiming
that the book would
make it difficult for
him to find a job.
(The case was eventually
thrown out.)
A
man riding his bike
home from work at night
with no lights, only
reflectors, was hit
by a Jeep after the
driver ran a stop sign.
The bicyclist sued
the bike manufacturer
because he was not
warned that reflectors
might not be enough
to prevent an accident.
The man was awarded
$6 million.
A
New York small-business
owner is suing Air
France after crew members
broke down the bathroom
door and pulled him
out in front of other
passengers, fully exposing
him. A smoke alarm
had gone off on the
plane, and the crew
members thought he
was smoking. He is
suing for $12 million.
A
young woman sued a
nightclub after she
fell out of a bathroom
window, knocking out
two of her front teeth.
She won $12,000 plus
dental expenses. (She
fell from the window
as she was attempting
to sneak into the club
to avoid the $3.50
cover charge.)
A
Philadelphia restaurant
was sued after Amber
Carson of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania, slipped
and broke her coccyx
on a beverage that
had been spilled on
the floor. She was
awarded $113,500. (Not
bad, considering she
had thrown the drink
at her boyfriend during
an argument 30 seconds
earlier.)
An
inmate in a Virginia
penitentiary has filed
a lawsuit against himself,
claiming that he violated
his own civil rights
by getting arrested.
He is suing for $5
million and is asking
the state to pay, since
he can't
have an income in prison.
A
man is suing a strip
club for $200,000.
He claims that one
of the strippers caused
him "emotional distress, mental anguish, and indignity" when she bashed her breasts against his head. Carson also claimed to have been "bruised, confused, lacerated and made sore." The stripper's breasts are rumored to weigh up to 40 pounds each.
A
27-year-old man was
killed while rocking
a vending machine that
tipped over on him.
The man was attempting
to steal a drink out
of the machine. Relatives
in New York are suing
for $400,000 in damages.
A
man who had purchased
a BMW and found that
some of the car had
been repainted to cover
acid-rain damage sued
and won $3 million
in damages. The garage
where the car was purchased
appealed the ruling,
and the damage award
was cut in half, to
$1.5 million.
A
woman is suing a guide-dog
school for $150,000
after a blind man allegedly
stepped on her foot.
A dog trained at the
school was leading
the man at the time.
A
phone-sex operator
in Florida won a settlement
after filing for worker's
compensation, saying
she had suffered repetitive-motion
injuries in both hands.
The repetitive motion
was the result of using
her hands to give herself
as many as seven orgasms
a day while talking
to clients.
The
Anheuser-Busch Company
was sued by a man for
emotional distress,
because he had no luck
with the ladies after
drinking their product.
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